Okay so—I’m not proud of this, but I’ve eaten at more buffets than I care to count. Like, enough that I’ve developed what I guess you could call… instincts about what to avoid at a buffet. And I don’t mean the fancy brunch kind of buffet with someone carving prime rib next to a chocolate fountain. I mean the weird, chaotic, everyone’s-on-a-mission kind. Plates stacked too high, kids licking tongs, that kind.
And I’ve made mistakes. I’ve piled sushi next to baked beans next to a slice of something that may or may not have once been cheesecake, and I’ve regretted it deeply. So now I have this mental list—stuff I absolutely don’t mess with anymore. Not because I’m picky (I mean, I am, but not like that), but because I’ve learned. The very, very hard way.
Anyway, here are the seven things I leave alone. Like, every time.
- The “What Even Is This?” Meat
If it doesn’t have a label, I’m out. I don’t care if it smells fine or looks semi-normal—if I’m looking at something under one of those little silver dome lids and the sign just says “Chef’s Selection” or “Specialty Carving” or even just “Meat,” nope. No. Learned my lesson once with some mystery slab that I think started its life as pork but ended up as… shoe? I chewed it for like a minute before giving up and still have no idea what animal I offended. Not worth it. Just—wait for labels. Or skip.
buffet salad
