Thus, the mother blends into the background – indispensable, yet invisible. Not because she is insignificant, but because her presence is taken for granted. This unconscious neurological pattern can generate a profound sense of worthlessness in the woman who tirelessly dedicates herself to her work.
2. The necessary distance to become oneself.
Psychological development requires a certain distance. For a child to build their own identity, they must question, challenge, and distance themselves emotionally from their parents – a process called individuation.
What appears to the child as a discovery of self is often experienced as rejection by the mother. Yet, very often, love remains intact; the child is simply seeking to define their identity. When this separation is accompanied by guilt or resistance, the distance often widens further.
