During the first few months of life, a baby builds its emotional core around its primary caregiver. In most cases, the mother seeks support from her own mother, as she represents the protective model she learned in her own childhood.
Thus, the maternal grandmother is often present during the most intimate moments: difficult nights, illnesses, questions about parenting, the child's first milestones. This repeated presence creates a natural bond with the baby.
Meanwhile, the paternal grandmother, although she may want to help, often enters the picture later or in a more formal way. Her visits may depend on invitations or prior arrangements. Over time, this initial difference transforms into an emotional reality: one grandmother becomes part of the daily routine, and the other part of special events.
The role of the father and the invisible decisions
Another important factor is the father's attitude. Many men, without meaning any harm, delegate family organization to their partner : visits, celebrations, decisions about support and contact with grandparents.
Family
When a father doesn't actively encourage his own mother's presence, the relationship between the paternal grandmother and her grandchildren can weaken without anyone noticing. It's not outright rejection, but rather a series of silences, postponements, and a lack of initiative.
Over the years, what began as a small omission can turn into an emotional distance that is difficult to reverse.
